she woke up with a sticky ear
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize