Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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