So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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