Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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