if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
