The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
