I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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