saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
