Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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