your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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