I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
