please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's blow job season.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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