Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize