Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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