no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
