i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
