dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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