I got chris browned last night
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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