i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
