I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
