Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
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tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
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She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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