Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
