I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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