id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she told me i tasted like america
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
