You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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