Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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