so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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