sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
