We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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