so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
