I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion