This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.