I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town