I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
