Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This toilet bowl is my home.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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