dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
