i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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