I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
