the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize