Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
