While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
