you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
