Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
