He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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