at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
