absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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