Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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