well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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