the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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