I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
