I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Pooping to opera.
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