My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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