You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
