I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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