Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
