I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
