honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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