i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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