he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
