I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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