i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think my moral compass just broke
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