I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.