The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
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We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
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I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.