I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina