Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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