I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.