i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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