Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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