When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
