I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
