The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
