is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
