I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
