put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
