from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
